I want to take a minute and reflect on the leaving of Bill Gates.

I'm sure you've read all about the last moments of Bill Gates' reign at Microsoft. I'm sure you've read that he'll still sit on the the board part time (is that even possible?). And I'm sure you've read that it's a great time to leave Microsoft as Google grows. But those are not the things I want to reflect on. I want to reflect on our civilization. I was reading recently an article on the
cave paintings from 26,000 years ago. The article went on in awe about these painters and the circumstances for which they were tagging the caves. Essentially, the cave artists (who have some modern-era curators, btw) are a camp in and of themselves. We don't know who they are or what their species is. Are they homo sapiens? Are they the cornerstone of European civilization?

I will say this, though: I would love nothing more than to isolate myself in a deep, dark cave listening to the pulse of the earth with complete darkness around me. I'm sure some sort of trance state would ensue. It seems like the perfect state to be in to create or to think or to tap into the deepest states of being. A peyote-less trance state. This, it seems, is to be a nature of artists. Of creators... of innovators.

Which brings me back to Bill Gates. In the 1970s--before the idea of a personal computer existed, he carved a place for himself in a very vulnerable, uncertain future. Perhaps he had the aid of pot, of peyote, of acid, speed or cocaine. Something, I'm sure--to program in those days endlessly for a computer that did not exist. They were creators, innovators. They arguably had their finger on the pulse of human desire/needs. Sounds romantic, doesn't it? It is in some respects. There are many who are also romantically driven by their intuition. They may never become the richest (or third richest now) man in the world but they create... for themselves. For society. For civilization. I bow my hypothetical hat to you, Mr. Gates. Mr. Gates who will now bow down from entrepreneurship into philanthropy. A funny round-about if you ask me... Perhaps this is now our spiritualisms--this capital induced trance state. Perhaps this is how our civilization has evolved. From having a one tier-ed spiritual structure of shamen, of artists/healers to having two tiers. One for the creators/artists and one for the technical innovators. Or maybe we are in a transition state of importance from the creator/artists to the technical inovators. Or maybe it's still one tier. Maybe all of those physicists today hacking at the idea of quantum computing are really artists. Like the cave artists.

Perhaps today's Bill Gates was 26,000 years ago's cave painters.

Instant job

So shortly after my last post, I was able to start my new job. Yes. My new job. I lined up the interview in NYC right after my embarrassingly horrible thesis defense in the Tdot. It helped to boost my ego after my ego was shredded during the defense (my fault, probably). No, I'm not out of the MFA box teaching--but if I was to be completely honest with myself, I'm not sure if the politics of academia is where I belong anyway. I belong in galleries, on the street, in events.

I am still in an academic setting, though. Oh this job. The woes... It's more of a confirmation of my role as a glutton for impermeable situations (i.e., punishment). I may never see the easy life.

And maybe this will lead me through the back door of teaching. But mostly, it will afford me the quality of life to:
1) have a studio.
2) have health insurance.
3) take days off if needed and know I still have a job the next day.
3.1) have a regular work schedule.
3.2) be able to orchestrate life around that regular work schedule.
4) have a retirement package.

See, life is good in the normal, straight world. So the long and short is: I have stability. I have a paycheck. However--it is mucked in the political machinery of academia.

Wish me luck!

goodbye to the big smoke

so long hogtown.

i left toronto 2 1/2 weeks ago. well, i mean, to be completely honest, my time was up. i finished my master's degree in a dramatic fury. and that fury left a very bad taste in my mouth. so if there was any tinge of sadness--any hesitation to leave--i dropped it the day/week after my thesis defense and turned my back on toronto and my nose back towards brooklyn.

so what happened that made the experience so sour? especially for a town like toronto--the haven for american ex-pats. the town that when i'd mention to anyone where i was living, they'd exclaim excitedly how much they *love* toronto and how they thought it was the coolest town ever. i definitely didn't experience that. i can't say it was anything about the town. or the country. it was 100% me.

speaking of brooklyn...

there is a funny bit of envy regarding new york city. i've not felt it as much as i did those days in toronto. it creates some interest where interest may not necessarily be present. new york city was a natural progression for me from philadelphia in 1998. so on i came. to the big apple. what's the big deal? it's like anywhere else--you crash someone's pad until you find a job and work your way up. i'd even say it's contrary to the old blue eyes song--you can make it here in ways you could never make it anywhere else. so there. why be envious?

i digress.

so i'm back now. back in the same neighborhood i left four years ago. back to the same friends i had before i left. like i'm picking up where i left off.

EXCEPT WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! and what happened to my town?! i live in a gentrification nightmare.

i know nyc has a very high turn-around rate. but oh my.